I seriously
need to practice my haircutter.
You know, that language you speak only when in the salon chair?
For most it comes naturally: you walk in the salon a normal, English-speaking human, and the second your hair alterations begin, bam! You're suddenly speaking about bangs and blow dryers as if they were your best personality traits.
Unfortunately however, not all of us are so fluent in the haircut dialect.
Sometimes phrases like "just a trim" and "two inches" can fail to translate properly and end up sounding more like "8.6 inches" and "feel free to just take your garden shears to my head".
In such cases I have found, from (yesterday's) personal experience, that it is helpful to do what I did, as to not to seriously offend your hairdresser in her own native tongue:
One. When placed in front of a mirror and asked "what you think", try contain your shock by exposing as many of your teeth as possible and using only the word "wow".
Two. Try not to look. Make up an excuse for needing to rush home. Ie: my parakeet needs me.
Three. Don't cry until you are out of the parking lot.
Four. If you start to cry a little before reaching the parking lot, pretend to sneeze twice.
And Five.
Until it grows back,
don't underestimate
the power of a bun.
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