Inadvertent creepiness.

Today I went to lunch by myself. Something that, as a fully committed people person with a secret fear of quiet places, I rarely do.

Except if I'm starving. And it's Friday. And work is especially slow. And my ADD is especially acute. Along with maybe some PMS. And my attitude toward the universe in general can be summed up by the word "meh".

In which case the only thing to do is to climb into a corner booth and order everything you never dared eat in the presence of a an attractive male, or really in the presence of any other human.

So I did just that. I took care to pick the most secluded table of the darkest corner of the restaurant to as to ensure that my lonely ritual of face-stuffing could be enjoyed in peace. Or so I thought. Because as my order arrived I looked up to notice an older gentleman quite conspicuously staring me down.

I'm sure he's just wondering where my date is. Maybe he feels sorry for me. Is that why he's frowning like that? Geez he's not even trying to look away. This is weird.

I looked around and noticed the family of four to my right giving me the same look

Is there something on my face?? Maybe if I pretend to text someone will they think I ordered this for two...

I glanced at the group of women to my left, obviously on break from some kind of hair salon, and caught them stealing glances right back at me.

Why are they all eating salads? I don't normally eat this much bacon I swear...
There's the old dude again. Man, does he ever blink??

Alright people, maybe I AM here by myself, and maybe I DO spill on myself like a five-year-old, and maybe this IS a weeks worth of calories in one sitting. Whatever. Stare all you want weirdos!

And as I finished my gluttonous meal and stood up to leave, this is what I saw.

Right. Above. My head.



Not sure how I didn't notice that on my way in,
but I think it's safe to say
I solved the mystery of the creepiness.





(Go 49ers)